While some are in recovery, an increasing number of women are going sober as a wellness and lifestyle choice. Still, there’s something daunting about the idea of dating without cocktails—for better or worse, booze can be an ally when it comes to awkward moments. The good news: Dating while sober can be just as good, something I found out firsthand when I gave up drinking and continued going out. Read on for my takeaways and lessons that anyone—even those looking to take a break from drinking—can learn from. When I first got sober, I felt like everything revolved around drinks—after work, on the weekends, and especially during dates. Go to a museum. A good tip: Try to get to know some date-friendly coffee shops, juice bars, or cafes with evening hours. Being upfront is key. But if you do get asked, keep it simple. Once I got sober, the substance that began to matter to me most was that of the personality of the person I chose to spend my time with, and just how much time I spent with them before I peaced out.
It’s no secret that drinking is a big component of contemporary dating — after all, “drinks” tend to be the de-facto activity a Tinder date will propose for your first nerve-wracking meet-up. However, what happens when you’re in recovery or sober for another reason? How do you date in a world where everyone seems to be drinking without feeling awkward or like you have to explain yourself which you, obviously, don’t?
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Dating while sober was horrifying for me, and that’s because my endless consumption of alcohol made me behave so unlike my true self that I was never fully present and lacked real dating experience. I sadly traded connection for cocktails, but it was when I began a program of recovery that I finally took the opportunity to work on those areas. And as awful as that sounds, I was relieved. I figured I had plenty of time to hide again before facing the opposite sex — or at least that’s what I believed.
The work after getting sober was anything but easy, and I had a considerable amount of digging and undoing to do. Finally, after my first year of sobriety, I was ready to put my new tools to the test.
An award-winning team of journalists, designers, and videographers who tell brand stories through Fast Company’s distinctive lens. Leaders who are shaping the future of business in creative ways. New workplaces, new food sources, new medicine–even an entirely new economic system. That proved no easy feat when there were at least 14 bars in a two-block radius around his home in New York City and so many friends and colleagues relied on the usual social outings.
To unwind, he inevitably wound up in one of two places: coffee shops and diners.
Loosid is a digital sober community that makes dating, travel, and bars in a two-block radius around his home in New York City and so many.
While I enjoyed staring at and sometimes eventually hooking up with the tatted, dapper dudes behind the bars that my friends and I used to frequent, I remember not knowing how to approach the fact that some of them were actually sober themselves. In , I did a Sober December I know, one month early , and after realizing that my life improved sans-booze, I gradually started drinking less and less—until I was essentially sober. A little over a year after saying bye to booze , I broke up with a long-term boyfriend and had to navigate dating again.
No apologizing for not being down to split that bottle of wine, no worrying about unattractive drunk texts, and dating a guy who loved my sobriety was so much better than dating a guy who seemed to secretly wish that I would get drunk with him. Unfortunately, upon downloading the app, I immediately felt like I was using the extreme beta version of Loosid. After getting past the initial hurdles, I matched with someone who looked like a pretty good fit for me.
Shortly after, I got an Instagram DM request from the sober, vegetarian prince charming. After we got to messaging, I found out he was from Italy and had just moved to L. The lack of quality profiles may have simply been because the app was so janky that nobody cared to put in the effort.
The Sober Dating Experiment
New York City has inspired some of the most famous romantic comedies of all time, from When Harry Met Sally to Serendipity , so why is it that all too often, we fall back on the less-than-novel dinner and drinks date? Sure, we New Yorkers have some of the best culinary experiences at our fingertips, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t shake up our date night plans every now and again. There are plenty of unique date ideas in New York City that are totally romantic, and won’t cost half your rent.
In addition to being easy on the wallet, they just might make you fall in love with the city all over again, too. From comedy shows and karaoke to scenic strolls and gallery hopping, these are the best date ideas in New York City.
New sober dating, which includes many other general and save! Are you ready for all recovering alcoholics, there are looking for people in real chance to find.
Loosid is a distinct community of individuals just like you living and thriving in sobriety. Loosid Community brings folks in your city together to participate in wildly entertaining alcohol-free events and activities. So, stop passing on the fun. You might be neck deep in the fight of your life. Or, you might have recently had a misstep in your path to sobriety. Boozeless Guides offers exactly what its name implies… events, restaurants and travel destinations you can attend without the pressure of any booze.
Did someone say mocktails? One of the biggest areas of friction for someone going sober or living sober is dating. Planning an event can feel stressful when trying to live a sober lifestyle, but it does not have to be! Choosing to plan a sober event can be uplifting and…. When setting up a date with someone new, it often comes with the phrase do you want to grab a drink somewhere?
8 Amazing Things You Learn From Sober Dating
Come back next week for more! I consulted Dr. Morgan Cutlip , Ph. Yikes, this sounds familiar. Armed with this new awareness that I actually have to try — with the added challenge of being sober — I compiled a list of eight ways to meet people.
Leo season means the romance AND the party vibes are in full force. How to navigate the love landscape sans booze? Caitlin Cecil shares 10 things you need to know about sober dating …. Once upon a time, my favorite part of dating was getting ready for the date: mixing myself a rum and Coke to take the edge off, jamming to some Blink , choosing my outfit and make up, and sipping on my beverage to alleviate the first date jitters. Even if the date turned out to be a bust, I really enjoyed having a drink with my self in anticipation of a night out ….
Two years ago, alcohol having wrecked havoc on my health through migraines, anxiety, and the occasional total melt down, I chose to go booze free. How to navigate this new terrain? This takes some research. Go on some dates and see where you fall on the spectrum. Decide ahead of time how much you want to give away. The magic concoction that got me through the early stages of my new life was a little drink called bitters and Coke. Bitters has an orange flavor to it, most people do not know what it is, a lot of my dates just assumed it was a type of alcohol, and bartenders would never charge me much for it.
Loosid Helps Sober People in an Alcohol-Obsessed Dating Scene
We exchanged numbers and agreed to meet up, but I figured she was just being friendly. Wedged into the booth side of a comically undersized table, I listened as Kate spoke and our conversation flowed easily. Still, when the coffee shop closed Kate suggested we get a drink. First Kate looked confused, then disappointed. Partially at the advice of medical professionals. Partially because sometimes when I drink too much I engage in self-destructive behavior—you know, fighting traffic cones like Don Quixote fought windmills or texting my ex.
Hi Infatuation reader. With restaurants around the country reopening, we understand that socializing in any form might still feel strange, and poses risks too. Should you go out to eat? If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to email us at community theinfatuation. It should mean sitting at a candlelit table at Nitecap – an underground cocktail bar on the LES – and drinking very good non-alcoholic mixed drinks with ingredients like carrot juice, watermelon shrub, and jalapeno brine.
It might seem silly to go to a speakeasy and not drink alcohol, but considering Prohibition ended in , speakeasies are silly in general. The tuxedoed bartenders serve phenomenal mixed drinks, including some non-alcohol options like one with Seedlip, rosemary, and egg white. Towards the end of typical wedding receptions, the DJ usually plays a few crowdpleasers, and the whole room sings along while swaying back and forth with their arms around each other.
The friendly staff can give you everything from a thesis to a TL;DR on the nearly beers available, including non-alcoholic pilsners, blondes, lagers, and IPAs.